Zex wrote porn. Hilarious porn. I think the unofficial title should be "An Alien Does Sasuke Up the Butt."

With apologies to everypony.

[it's been raining heavily since morning, but Sasuke is long resolved to train daily, come rain or come shine. he's out in a 'his' spot, a clearing that's grown steadily larger each month he's still in camp.

and yes, he knows you're out there, Itachi. please ignore the scorched trees and try not to wonder if your little brother's been trying to use Amaterasu in camp a bit too often]

I am proclaiming a new relationship meme for myself. HOPEFULLY the comparatively binary qualities of this meme will help me actually, you know. Reply to everyone. List your relationships with Sasuke, Aang, Snake, and Neuro, and I'll respond with the following basic ratings for each character, along with any relevant additions/subtractions.

Likes:
Trusts:
Respects:
Gets Along With:
Finds Attractive:
Finds Interesting:

So Shounen Jump produced an all-cgi episode of Naruto: Nostalgia Flavor and it's basically incredible.

( Sasuke's reaction at having a naked woman behind him has made my day. )

I HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BY MYSELF.

( MAI WAIFU'S HAIRCUTS meme )

Because the last one is out of date, here's a new stats meme.


Name: Uchiha Sasuke

Date of Birth: July 23rd.

Age: Sixteen.

Height: 5'5" still taller than Naruto HA

Weight: 115 pounds. OH MY GOD EAT A SANDWICH

Blood Type: AB

Eyes: Dark, dark brown/black. When the Sharingan is activated, his iris changes to red.

Hair: Dark, dark navy/black. It looks like a goddamn duck's ass.

Medical Information: Presumably normal human that has undergone shinobi strength and chakra training. His family bloodline could be yakked about, but basically! Sasuke stands the chance of going blind if he abuses the next stage of his sharingan.

Physical Traits: still dresses like a gay pirate Canonly, Sasuke is so fine, he's so fine he blows their minds, hey Sasuke /clap. After being canon-updated in camp, he no longer sports Orochimaru's curse seal.

What's Okay To Mention Around Him: Sasuke doesn't really care what people talk about so much as he can be annoyed with how persistent they are in speaking to him.

Abilities: Sasuke is able to activate the sharingan, "a special type of pupil condition that naturally occurs in all members of the Uchiha clan," as so delicately phrased by Wiki. The sharingan allows for incredible clarity of vision (read: can follow super fast movement and spot an opponent's
weakness easily) and to allow the user to copy any kind of movement or attack. As of late, his Mangekyo Sharingan allows him to set shit on fire just by looking at it and the flames can't be put out until Sasuke does it himself or they destroy everything in their path. The sharingan also can control demons? Apparently? IDK SASUKE IS A GOD-MODDER.

Sasuke also uses and abuses his clan's unique brand of fire-based jutsus along with the chidori, a lightening-based attack he learned from his previous teacher, and various sword techniques he apparently learned from Orochimaru, because what else would he learn from pedophile other than how to wave something phallic around.

Notes for the Psychics: blah blah avenging his family, pretending he has no friends in camp, denying that he still wubs his big brother.

Can I shapeshift/bodyswap/spit at/step on/etc? Definitely. Just poke me first.

Maim/Murder/Death: Yes plz! Canon is currently hellbent on making sure its readers know that Sasuke isn't a pushover, just as an FYI.

Cooking: Basic to intermediate level in cooking. He lived by himself for a few years, so he did learn to cook. BACHELOR FOOD A++

Kissing/Hugging: well if you want to get hit, sure

You at least realize we're playing a game, right?

The team that was eaten. You knew them?